Thursday and Friday I felt awful. Horrible stomach stuff. And on Saturday I was c-r-a-b-b-y. And emotional and couldn't figure out what was going in. Sunday, I was going to make my gluten free chicken nuggets when I realized, I had purchased gluten loaded chicken nuggets! And I had eaten them on Wednesday. That explained everything!!! The stomach, crabbiness, emotional swings. All of it. Apparently, this brand of chicken nuggets makes gluten free and regular chicken nuggets. But the boxes look the same. I am wondering if this may be the reason for the horrible knee pain. Celiac is an autoimmune disease and arthritis can go along with it. Wed is when I ate the nuggets, then I went running, then the horrible knee pain that kept getting worse each day, even though I didn't exercise at all. Just a thought. They may have been made vulnerable because of the wheat.
But, I should be good now. Just a good lesson in how important it is to read labels. All. The. Time.
So, I am feeling better emotionally. A lot better. And have more energy. My knees were doing a lot better today, but I over did it this evening after grocery shopping, and my left knee is sore again. Live and learn. Icing and elevation helps a lot. I am hoping tomorrow it is better again.
Mr. Maddox is back to sleeping. Glory day. He is so much fun when he gets sleep. Just a bundle of fun and snuggles. And he is so into space it is amazing. Mason continues to do well. He is really into making up his own jokes, using words that have more than one meaning. He is also really getting into drawing and sketching. I think he inherited some talent from my family. My Dad, brothers, Aunt, and cousins are all creative and on my mom's side, she is, my Grandpa, aunt and cousins and uncle are. Somehow that gene skipped me. At least I am a carrier maybe? We are looking forward to summer. Forget spring. I just want summer. I cannot wait.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Reality
All right. I am getting real here. Being a stay at home mom who home schools can be incredibly draining and exhausting. I wouldn't change it and I don't regret it, but it is hard. ( some days more than others). As I read my favorite home school blogs, I haven't read anything describing how hard it can be. The blogs are full of love, peace, and incredible lesson plans and field trips and activities.
We have that at our home too, but there are days where we don't. Mornings I wake up and don't want to hear anyone's voice, I don't want anyone to need anything from me. I just want to do what I want to do. Exercise and scrapbook and eats foods loaded with dairy without having to worry.
Now I LOVE what I do, and I don't feel burnt out. But being with my children so much and being responsible for their education has it's challenges and pressures. Have I had days where I thought about putting them in public school...yes. In fact there are days I wished there was a boarding school for our 3 year old. But this is the right thing for us to do as a family, and with the hole in Mason's eardrum, he would have needed a hearing aid in school and would have missed out on a lot. His audiologist and ENT affirmed that again two weeks ago.
I worry too. Are their social skills ok? I often dread telling someone we homeschool because I feel they look at my children differently. I feel they are looking for something wrong with them, something that I missed. I know they are doing well, and socially they are fine. It isn't like Mason isn't exposed to groups of children or his peers, and Maddox, well, he would be social if he grew up in a cave. I have so many resources to look through to make sure I am not missing anything in their education. And that can be overwhelming.
There are days I yell too much. I am a yeller. I have gotten much better, but I still struggle with it. Some days more than others.
My houses a disaster with all our supplies and different activities.
And yet, I wouldn't trade this life for anything. The bad days come and go, and I know there is always a tomorrow. I love being able to be with Mason as he learns a new skill, as he learns how to work through challenges and I love to see how he and Maddox can play together so well. (that is not to say they don't fight. They. Do.)
And those crafts i post on here? Well there are days everyone is complaining about them the whole time.
I am also not anti-public school or anti-teacher. At. All. there will probably be a time when our children will attend public school. I don't know when that will be. We haven't locked ourselves into anything. But for now, this works for our family. Yes we have our "hard moments", but who doesn't?
So, this is the "other side" of our homeschooling adventures. I assume every homeschooling family has another side that isn't blogged about. Maybe they assume that other homeschooling families understand there are hard days.
So, there you have it. But now I feel like deleting this whole post because in worry you will think I hate doing this and that I regret it and that my children are not learning anything. Because you can't hear the tone of my voice, or see my facial expressions. Maybe that is why people mainly blog shiny, happy things.
We have that at our home too, but there are days where we don't. Mornings I wake up and don't want to hear anyone's voice, I don't want anyone to need anything from me. I just want to do what I want to do. Exercise and scrapbook and eats foods loaded with dairy without having to worry.
Now I LOVE what I do, and I don't feel burnt out. But being with my children so much and being responsible for their education has it's challenges and pressures. Have I had days where I thought about putting them in public school...yes. In fact there are days I wished there was a boarding school for our 3 year old. But this is the right thing for us to do as a family, and with the hole in Mason's eardrum, he would have needed a hearing aid in school and would have missed out on a lot. His audiologist and ENT affirmed that again two weeks ago.
I worry too. Are their social skills ok? I often dread telling someone we homeschool because I feel they look at my children differently. I feel they are looking for something wrong with them, something that I missed. I know they are doing well, and socially they are fine. It isn't like Mason isn't exposed to groups of children or his peers, and Maddox, well, he would be social if he grew up in a cave. I have so many resources to look through to make sure I am not missing anything in their education. And that can be overwhelming.
There are days I yell too much. I am a yeller. I have gotten much better, but I still struggle with it. Some days more than others.
My houses a disaster with all our supplies and different activities.
And yet, I wouldn't trade this life for anything. The bad days come and go, and I know there is always a tomorrow. I love being able to be with Mason as he learns a new skill, as he learns how to work through challenges and I love to see how he and Maddox can play together so well. (that is not to say they don't fight. They. Do.)
And those crafts i post on here? Well there are days everyone is complaining about them the whole time.
I am also not anti-public school or anti-teacher. At. All. there will probably be a time when our children will attend public school. I don't know when that will be. We haven't locked ourselves into anything. But for now, this works for our family. Yes we have our "hard moments", but who doesn't?
So, this is the "other side" of our homeschooling adventures. I assume every homeschooling family has another side that isn't blogged about. Maybe they assume that other homeschooling families understand there are hard days.
So, there you have it. But now I feel like deleting this whole post because in worry you will think I hate doing this and that I regret it and that my children are not learning anything. Because you can't hear the tone of my voice, or see my facial expressions. Maybe that is why people mainly blog shiny, happy things.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Warning: whine session ahead
Maddox has been up from midnight until 6-6:30 in the morning for 4 nights now. I feel like a zombie. We haven't left the house since Monday. I. am. going. crazy. I am also e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d. For the last month Maddox has been taking Melatonin at night. He has been falling asleep by 8:00 pm and sleeping through the night until 7:30 am. It has been heaven!! And now we are back to this. And I am terrified he won't sleep again. I haven't been able to exercise in the morning because I am too tired. Maddox is extremely irritable again and screaming and crying about everything again. When he was getting sleep he was a different boy. Still 3 years old, but not so frustrated or irritable. And our house was a different house
Right now I keep fighting tears because I am so tired again and so scared things won't get back to normal.
I did run with my sister on Wed evening. But I went too fast and my knees are killing me. I am supposed to run a 5k tomorrow morning, but I don't know. First Maddox has to sleep, and hopefully my knees feel better. That is also frustrating.
I did dump some sand on a large tablecloth in the kitchen and the boys have been having fun with that. I would love to take them somewhere, but Maddox is in no mood to go anywhere.
Things aren't completely horrible, but right now being this tired makes it feel like it is. I had forgotten how horrible lack of sleep is, and how cranky Maddox is.
The boys have been enjoying a DVD called " the history of spaceflight". Maddox loves space and astronauts and his favorite bedtime book is "this is rocket science" put out by National Geographic. When he watches the DVD he is recognizing the people on there and knows the names of the rockets. Mason likes the experimental rockets that explode.
Well, that's enough whining for now. Hopefully Maddox sleeps through the night tonight. That would help a ton.
Right now I keep fighting tears because I am so tired again and so scared things won't get back to normal.
I did run with my sister on Wed evening. But I went too fast and my knees are killing me. I am supposed to run a 5k tomorrow morning, but I don't know. First Maddox has to sleep, and hopefully my knees feel better. That is also frustrating.
I did dump some sand on a large tablecloth in the kitchen and the boys have been having fun with that. I would love to take them somewhere, but Maddox is in no mood to go anywhere.
Things aren't completely horrible, but right now being this tired makes it feel like it is. I had forgotten how horrible lack of sleep is, and how cranky Maddox is.
The boys have been enjoying a DVD called " the history of spaceflight". Maddox loves space and astronauts and his favorite bedtime book is "this is rocket science" put out by National Geographic. When he watches the DVD he is recognizing the people on there and knows the names of the rockets. Mason likes the experimental rockets that explode.
Well, that's enough whining for now. Hopefully Maddox sleeps through the night tonight. That would help a ton.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
a storm is coming
This is my favorite line from "Night at the Museum". And there is a storm coming, or so they say. We canceled Maddox's appt with the endocrinologist and couldn't get in again until June. Maddox was up at 3:00am with a sore throat and fever. I ended up doing a grocery run at 3:30 am because we were almost out of ibuprofen and I had planned on going grocery shopping at a more decent time with the kids. So, there I was at Cub. It was nice and quiet and peaceful. and I got a lot of junk food for the kids and myself.
Yesterday Maddox almost gave me a heart attack. He had been playing under Mason's bed earlier in the day (which is no big deal), then later in the afternoon he told Mason "I gonna get something ready for you under your bed. Don't come up". I told Mason he should probably check it out. Mason then flew down the stairs "Mom!!! Maddox is eating my Halloween candy under my bed!!!"
(side note: Mason NEVER eats much of his Halloween candy, but he does like to save it and I had forgotten it was in his room)
I flew up the stairs and found Maddox under Mason's bed with the bucket and wrappers and candy laying around. I was almost crying " Maddox! What did you eat?! What did you eat?!" I was frantically digging through the wrappers. I found 2 tootsie pop ones and the ingredients said they had milk in them. "Maddox. Did you eat these?" Maddox: "No, I lick them. They not taste good". Then I found an empty Milky Way wrapper and I was panicked "Maddox! Did you eat this? Did you eat this" Maddox: "Yes", now I am trying desperately to stay calm when Mason said "Mom, that wrapper has been in my bucket for a long time". Maddox hadn't eaten it. All the candy was thrown out. It was terrifying! There was a reeses peanut butter cup in there, candy bars, etc... I hadn't know there was a peanut butter candy in there, or that would have been tossed out right away. Somehow we missed that one. So, he was OK. Thank you God!! Maddox must have some pretty diligent guardian angels. I was so scared.
Maddox has been trying to be sneaky about eating forbidden foods. He will look at Mason's yogurt and try to sneak a lick while saying "I not get sick from dairy now Mom. I a big boy now". And he pretends his snacks have egg and dairy in them. I can see this becoming an issue for a while with him. And we try not to eat too many forbidden foods around him. But Mason does get cheese and yogurt while Maddox has his alternatives.
On a nice day a while back we headed out to the fish hatchery to see the fish spawning. It was petty neat. The rainbow trout swim into this little shallow pool of water and you can see them really well. The problem was it was a rock beach. Little boys + rocks + water = disaster for spawning fish. Maddox desperately wanted to throw rocks in and I had to keep him at bay. While I was talking to Mason about a fish, my eyes were off Maddox for a second and he took a HUGE rock and threw it. It landed on a ledge that a trout was hiding under. If it had gone off the ledge (it landed on the edge) it would have killed the fish. sigh I made him stand somewhere else and found a place where he could toss small pebbles onto a piece of ice which resulted in him screaming and crying. After a few minutes I ended the field trip because he just couldn't comply. (Mason also snuck in a rock) As we were walking back up the the van he saw a truck and asked "What is that?" I looked up and saw it was an employee from the fish hatchery sitting in his truck watching us. I was mortified. As we got into the van I told the boys "Listen. When I say don't throw rocks, you don't throw rocks. That is a fish hatchery man and we could get in big trouble. BIG trouble." Maddox:" what kind of big trouble?" Me: " Tickets big trouble. We'll get tickets and pay lots of money". Maddox:" I not get in trouble. I not gonna get any tickets!"
I should have had the man talk to the boys about throwing rocks in there, but I just wanted to get the heck out of there. As soon as we were in the van, the man drove away. I am guessing that Maddox's screaming and crying is what prompted him to come in the first place. The boy sounds like he is being beaten when he is upset. We are working on his volume control. Too bad kids don't come with a remote control huh? I could just press mute or at least lower the volume.
Hmmmm, What else? School is going well. We studied special effects in movies and the science behind them for a couple weeks. I think next year I would like to do a longer study on that. It was pretty fun and Mason got to watch some fun car chase scenes while we talked about forces and Newton's laws. Now we are studying Italy and Leonardo Davinci. That man was amazing!! We checked out some pretty neat books about his inventions and one book has it set up so you can make some of them while studying the science behind them. This summer we will do a unit on Native Americans.
Not much else going on here. Just moving along, waiting desperately for summer. I have been trying to get the boys outside every morning for a couple hours.
I have been exercising a ton and I have to say that I love Jillian Michaels. I am able to do the entire Banish Fat Boost Metabolism now (only took a month) with a couple breaks here and there. But I feel sooooo good when I am done. I actually crave the execise now. I started running with my sister too! Last week I did 2 4 mile runs with her and they weren't too bad. Jillian Michaels definitely helped with that! that dvd is sooo intense and I think my body remembered how to run from way back when. It feels good. I am going to do a 5k this Sat. I am not Ms. speedy that's for sure, but I am moving and outside and I LOVE it!!! I am thinking that maybe in October I will do a half marathon. But we'll see. that may be too lofty of a goal.
the boys like to watch me workout. I usually hear comments like this
"Mom, they are going down lower than you. Way lower"
"How come they not tired Momma but you are?"
"Why don't they ever need to take breaks or drink water?"
"Hey! Why Angellian not moving?! She just talking!"
"Angellian my favorite!"
"Are you done yet?!"
well, the little one just woke up from his nap. gotta run!
Yesterday Maddox almost gave me a heart attack. He had been playing under Mason's bed earlier in the day (which is no big deal), then later in the afternoon he told Mason "I gonna get something ready for you under your bed. Don't come up". I told Mason he should probably check it out. Mason then flew down the stairs "Mom!!! Maddox is eating my Halloween candy under my bed!!!"
(side note: Mason NEVER eats much of his Halloween candy, but he does like to save it and I had forgotten it was in his room)
I flew up the stairs and found Maddox under Mason's bed with the bucket and wrappers and candy laying around. I was almost crying " Maddox! What did you eat?! What did you eat?!" I was frantically digging through the wrappers. I found 2 tootsie pop ones and the ingredients said they had milk in them. "Maddox. Did you eat these?" Maddox: "No, I lick them. They not taste good". Then I found an empty Milky Way wrapper and I was panicked "Maddox! Did you eat this? Did you eat this" Maddox: "Yes", now I am trying desperately to stay calm when Mason said "Mom, that wrapper has been in my bucket for a long time". Maddox hadn't eaten it. All the candy was thrown out. It was terrifying! There was a reeses peanut butter cup in there, candy bars, etc... I hadn't know there was a peanut butter candy in there, or that would have been tossed out right away. Somehow we missed that one. So, he was OK. Thank you God!! Maddox must have some pretty diligent guardian angels. I was so scared.
Maddox has been trying to be sneaky about eating forbidden foods. He will look at Mason's yogurt and try to sneak a lick while saying "I not get sick from dairy now Mom. I a big boy now". And he pretends his snacks have egg and dairy in them. I can see this becoming an issue for a while with him. And we try not to eat too many forbidden foods around him. But Mason does get cheese and yogurt while Maddox has his alternatives.
On a nice day a while back we headed out to the fish hatchery to see the fish spawning. It was petty neat. The rainbow trout swim into this little shallow pool of water and you can see them really well. The problem was it was a rock beach. Little boys + rocks + water = disaster for spawning fish. Maddox desperately wanted to throw rocks in and I had to keep him at bay. While I was talking to Mason about a fish, my eyes were off Maddox for a second and he took a HUGE rock and threw it. It landed on a ledge that a trout was hiding under. If it had gone off the ledge (it landed on the edge) it would have killed the fish. sigh I made him stand somewhere else and found a place where he could toss small pebbles onto a piece of ice which resulted in him screaming and crying. After a few minutes I ended the field trip because he just couldn't comply. (Mason also snuck in a rock) As we were walking back up the the van he saw a truck and asked "What is that?" I looked up and saw it was an employee from the fish hatchery sitting in his truck watching us. I was mortified. As we got into the van I told the boys "Listen. When I say don't throw rocks, you don't throw rocks. That is a fish hatchery man and we could get in big trouble. BIG trouble." Maddox:" what kind of big trouble?" Me: " Tickets big trouble. We'll get tickets and pay lots of money". Maddox:" I not get in trouble. I not gonna get any tickets!"
I should have had the man talk to the boys about throwing rocks in there, but I just wanted to get the heck out of there. As soon as we were in the van, the man drove away. I am guessing that Maddox's screaming and crying is what prompted him to come in the first place. The boy sounds like he is being beaten when he is upset. We are working on his volume control. Too bad kids don't come with a remote control huh? I could just press mute or at least lower the volume.
Hmmmm, What else? School is going well. We studied special effects in movies and the science behind them for a couple weeks. I think next year I would like to do a longer study on that. It was pretty fun and Mason got to watch some fun car chase scenes while we talked about forces and Newton's laws. Now we are studying Italy and Leonardo Davinci. That man was amazing!! We checked out some pretty neat books about his inventions and one book has it set up so you can make some of them while studying the science behind them. This summer we will do a unit on Native Americans.
Not much else going on here. Just moving along, waiting desperately for summer. I have been trying to get the boys outside every morning for a couple hours.
I have been exercising a ton and I have to say that I love Jillian Michaels. I am able to do the entire Banish Fat Boost Metabolism now (only took a month) with a couple breaks here and there. But I feel sooooo good when I am done. I actually crave the execise now. I started running with my sister too! Last week I did 2 4 mile runs with her and they weren't too bad. Jillian Michaels definitely helped with that! that dvd is sooo intense and I think my body remembered how to run from way back when. It feels good. I am going to do a 5k this Sat. I am not Ms. speedy that's for sure, but I am moving and outside and I LOVE it!!! I am thinking that maybe in October I will do a half marathon. But we'll see. that may be too lofty of a goal.
the boys like to watch me workout. I usually hear comments like this
"Mom, they are going down lower than you. Way lower"
"How come they not tired Momma but you are?"
"Why don't they ever need to take breaks or drink water?"
"Hey! Why Angellian not moving?! She just talking!"
"Angellian my favorite!"
"Are you done yet?!"
well, the little one just woke up from his nap. gotta run!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Today is March 18th
which is not a significant day over here. But I didn't know what to title this.
This morning I was trying to get us ready to get o-u-t-s-i-d-e. I am tired of this process of getting ready to get outside. here is how it went this a.m.
(J=me, Mn=Mason and Mx=Maddox)
J: Boys, get your stuff on, it is time to go
Mn: But I didn't brush my teeth yet!!!
Mx: (in bathroom waiting to brush teeth)
Mx: (licking toothbrush) I tasting it
J: We don't have time for tasting, only time for brushing
Mx: I need to see if it tastes good!!!!
J: I am counting to three
Mx: OK
teeth are brushed
J: Let's get our stuff on. Mx where are your snowpants? (while frantically digging through the pile of winter clothes. they are usually on his hook)
J: achoo! (while bending over previously mentioned pile of winter clothes) cursing under my breath because I wet myself when sneezed.
J: continuing to curse under my breath as I peel off layers of long underwear, jeans, etc... to change and go to the bathroom
Mx: I just need to get some race cars mom OK?!
Mn: Can I finish building my lego creation while you get ready?
J: Mx, only 2 race cars. 1-2. Mn, no. wait in the kitchen next to the door.
J: Where are those snowpants?! (using cursing in my head before snowpants)
Mx: I don't know where they are Mom. I going to get 3 race cars OK?
J: I am going to check the van. I'll be right back
find snowpants and mittens in van, they are freezing and stiff. Run and put them in the dryer. Mx has now filled up a lunchbox with race cars. grab snow pants and mittens from dryer run upstairs.
J: OK, we are going now. Mx, where are you?! It is time to go. (notice I pulled a muscle in my neck and I can't turn my head)
J: Mx, time to get ready.
Mx: OK mom! I here!
Mx: I can't put these on by myself.
putting winter garb on while Mx turns into a noodle and lays on the floor.
J: Mx, I am counting to three and you will lose the race cars. Stand up.
Mx: OWWWW! MOM!! you hurt my leg! Don't do that! That hurt! OWWWWWW!!!!! ( i didn't do anything)
J: OK, where is my neck gaiter? (Looking for a black neck gaiter in a basket full of black hats and snow pants---give up and grab a scarf) Where are my gloves? (again, searching for navy blue gloves in a basket of black hats and snowpants---find some thin gloves)
J: OK, let's go. (grab backpack, lunch bag full of snacks)
Mx: Mom, can you carry my race cars?
J: No, if you want them, you need to carry them
Mx: But I can't!!!! I gonna fall!!! I can't walk with the box!!!....oh, I did it!
and then we got into the van.
The park we chose to go to, was covered in ice. It was almost dangerous walking from the parking lot to the park, and the trail I wanted to walk on to follow a river and see some falls, was cray. We ended up walking back to the park and hanging out there for a little bit.
So, that was our moning. and this is why I am ready for summer :)
This morning I was trying to get us ready to get o-u-t-s-i-d-e. I am tired of this process of getting ready to get outside. here is how it went this a.m.
(J=me, Mn=Mason and Mx=Maddox)
J: Boys, get your stuff on, it is time to go
Mn: But I didn't brush my teeth yet!!!
Mx: (in bathroom waiting to brush teeth)
Mx: (licking toothbrush) I tasting it
J: We don't have time for tasting, only time for brushing
Mx: I need to see if it tastes good!!!!
J: I am counting to three
Mx: OK
teeth are brushed
J: Let's get our stuff on. Mx where are your snowpants? (while frantically digging through the pile of winter clothes. they are usually on his hook)
J: achoo! (while bending over previously mentioned pile of winter clothes) cursing under my breath because I wet myself when sneezed.
J: continuing to curse under my breath as I peel off layers of long underwear, jeans, etc... to change and go to the bathroom
Mx: I just need to get some race cars mom OK?!
Mn: Can I finish building my lego creation while you get ready?
J: Mx, only 2 race cars. 1-2. Mn, no. wait in the kitchen next to the door.
J: Where are those snowpants?! (using cursing in my head before snowpants)
Mx: I don't know where they are Mom. I going to get 3 race cars OK?
J: I am going to check the van. I'll be right back
find snowpants and mittens in van, they are freezing and stiff. Run and put them in the dryer. Mx has now filled up a lunchbox with race cars. grab snow pants and mittens from dryer run upstairs.
J: OK, we are going now. Mx, where are you?! It is time to go. (notice I pulled a muscle in my neck and I can't turn my head)
J: Mx, time to get ready.
Mx: OK mom! I here!
Mx: I can't put these on by myself.
putting winter garb on while Mx turns into a noodle and lays on the floor.
J: Mx, I am counting to three and you will lose the race cars. Stand up.
Mx: OWWWW! MOM!! you hurt my leg! Don't do that! That hurt! OWWWWWW!!!!! ( i didn't do anything)
J: OK, where is my neck gaiter? (Looking for a black neck gaiter in a basket full of black hats and snow pants---give up and grab a scarf) Where are my gloves? (again, searching for navy blue gloves in a basket of black hats and snowpants---find some thin gloves)
J: OK, let's go. (grab backpack, lunch bag full of snacks)
Mx: Mom, can you carry my race cars?
J: No, if you want them, you need to carry them
Mx: But I can't!!!! I gonna fall!!! I can't walk with the box!!!....oh, I did it!
and then we got into the van.
The park we chose to go to, was covered in ice. It was almost dangerous walking from the parking lot to the park, and the trail I wanted to walk on to follow a river and see some falls, was cray. We ended up walking back to the park and hanging out there for a little bit.
So, that was our moning. and this is why I am ready for summer :)
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