Not a Nurse

Look at all that tape on his nose:







and look at this tape free face:



I missed that face!

I was definitely not created to be a nurse.  Or physician.  Or dentist.  Or surgeon.  Or any job that requires working with cotton swabs, body fluids, or medical equipment.  I walk around in a constant state of queasiness and weak knees.  I am horrible.  Once a day I hook up Maddox and unhook him from his tubes. Once a day I clean around his button and place new guaze around the button.  Several hours after I am done with the cares (and they aren't much) I am queasy, light headed and weak in the knees.  It's awful. I am such a wuss!!  Poor guy.  He does better than me and he is the one who has a plastic piece coming out of his stomach that is now a part of him.

Last night he threw up. It was my fault.  He told me his tummy felt weird, but said it in such a relaxed way I didn't move very fast, and he threw up.  He recovered quickly (I did not) and was fine and hasn't mentioned it.  Although he felt it was his fault because he had walked into our room to tell me something (Craig is sleeping in his room this week).  The tape that holds down his tubes came off his tummy last night and so they were pulling on his button, and it was hurting him.  He thought that was his fault too because he was scratching around the tape.  He takes the blame for so much that happens to him.  I am guessing it's because he is trying to make sense of all of this, but I am trying to convince him this is not his fault, and he hasn't done anything wrong.

The other morning he woke up at 3 am and was asking me if he had to go back to the hospital and get poked when they took out the button.  It broke my heart. Here he is at 3am worrying about what will happen when he eventually is done with the button.  He has grown up worries for a little guy and that breaks my heart for him.

Tonight I was having a hard time with all of this (and believe me, I know how fortunate we are), and I thought about God and Jesus.  I can't imagine how hard it must have been for God to see Jesus on the cross and not do anything about it when He knew he could stop it.  A random thought I know, but one I have been thinking about.

Maddox is doing really well. I am the one having all the problems at the moment. Which I am sure is part of it all and is normal (at least I hope it is).  He continues to amaze me with his strength and tenacity.  The Maddox has pretty much returned and it's wonderful to see. He's a bundle of fun and love all rolled into an energetic package.

Craig has been an incredible help. There is no way I could do any of this without him.  When he comes home from work he takes over and I nap.  This is his week off and he is sleeping in Maddox's room so I can get some sleep. He has been doing the cooking and grocery shopping too.

Mason is doing well too. He's been opening up about his concerns so I can talk with him about them and make sure he gets a little extra TLC, which goes a long way with him.  All he really needs is a listening ear.

Praying for an uneventful night full of peace and rest.  I long for the days when this is just a memory and when I have to come back to this blog to remember it all.  You know, when The Maddox is over 6 feet tall , 250 pounds and a line backer on some football team :)

The Importance of Pooping

sigh

Maddox has not pooped since Monday, and last night he woke up with an upset tummy twice and this morning he didn't feel well. We are going to use senna today, I only hope it doesn't cause cramping for him. If he does not poop regularly it causes all kinds of problems for him.

After he pooped on Monday, he ate quite a bit of food, and tolerated the feedings great, slept through the night Monday and Tuesday night and was comfortable. The boy is on daily doses of Miralax and still has troubles.

The professionals I talk to don't seem too concerned, but I know there is a definite connection between his pooping and His appetite and comfort. Hopefully the senna works.

Here are some pics of the boys decorating the Christmas tree.










Look at those faces. I am the luckiest mom in the world!

Last day at the Hospital

These pictures are from the last day at the hospital.
Taking one last trip around the halls.




Riley. Maddox loved this little boy and Riley was a sweetie. He and Maddox met in the playroom. They are comparing toys here. Maddox left the play room to get his flashlight, and when he returned, Riley was gone. Maddox was so sad, the volunteer went and found Riley for him.


The first time he sat all the way up.


The closer we got to getting home, the more of "The Maddox" we saw.





These blue gloves terrified him. Poor guy had labs drawn, suppositories and cares, so whenever anyone put these on, he shook. As we were getting ready to leave, he wanted to put them on and play with them. We were even able to take a couple pairs home.


Our fabulous, incredible, amazing nurse Katie!! There aren't enough words to describe how wonderful she is!


Maddox fell asleep in the wagon while we waited for Craig to pull the van up.


He didn't even wake up when we put him in the car seat, and he slept the whole way home.

Recovering

Maddox is almost back to 100%. Today he has been up since 4:30am. Playing.  His diaper leaked, which woke him up, so he decided to stay up and play. I am sleeping in his room for a while, so I have been up since then too. He is amazingly cheerful though. Today he is running around and playing almost like he used to. He still guards his tummy, but if you didn't know he just had a procedure done, you wouldn't be able to tell.

The last couple days at home have been good. Monday was a bit stressful. His button started twisting a bit. It was put in at 9 O'clock position and keeps turning to 10 or 11 o'clock. I guess this is normal, but I wasn't aware of that, so I was almost fainting again on Monday until I talked with a couple different nurses, who assured me that it is OK and sometimes they just do that.  It still gives me the willies a little, but I think I am past the fainting part.

Have I mentioned how incredibly wonderful it is to see Maddox's face?!?!  I love it!! I can see that cherub face now. We haven't seen that for over 3 months.  He is chewing much better now and his voice sounds different. What a difference that n-g tube made.  He isn't eating a whole lot, but that is to be expected.  He has tolerated the tube feedings well yesterday and today, so we are increasing the rate at which he gets the formula. He needs to be up to 90 ml/hour and we are at 70 ml/hour. Tonight I may try the 90 ml/hour. We'll see how brave I am feeling.

I can't even describe how wonderful it is to see him running around without tubing attached to his face or tape on his nose or tubing taped to his shirt. He looks like any other child now when he isn't hooked up to his feeding pump. And I can tell he is enjoying it too. His nose isn 't running anymore. He isn't sneezing and he doesn't have to always be watching out for the tube.  This is a good thing. I wish he didn't have to have any type of feeding tube, but what he has now is good and we will hopefully be rid of it quickly.

Mason is doing well. I had hoped that on Monday they would be so happy to see each other they wouldn't bicker. That lasted for 2 hours in the morning :)  Maddox was still in pain though and was very whiny. Mason was a little nervous about the whole button thing, so that was not a good combination.  It's nice though, because Mason doesn't give Maddox any special treatment because of his feeding tube. Maddox is still just his little brother.  The issue now, is making sure they don't play too rough because Maddox still has up to 2 weeks to be completely healed.

Maddox has pushed himself move since we returned home.  He continues to amaze me. I would still be lying on the couch afraid to move. I wish I could capture the look on his face with the camera when he tries to move a different way. It has so much determination in it.  He has found ways to keep doing what he does without any coaxing or encouragement, and if I even try to help or offer help he becomes very upset.  That strong will of his is serving him well.  When he drops a toy he will try to first pick it up with his toes, if that doesn't work, he squats down while keeping his torso completely upright. Once, I picked up the toy for him and he threw it back down on the ground so he could do it.

He is fearful of being hooked up and disconnected.  He says it doesn't hurt anymore when I hook him up, but he is scared it will. And he is especially fearful when I need to place a gauze bandage around his button.  Hopefully the fear will subside as he heals.  He is way more involved in his cares though. He knows how to clamp and unclamp his tubes, and he flushes his tube with water (squirts water through them with a syringe).  He didn't want to do that as much with the ng tube. And the best part, when I do need to change the one piece of tape he has on him, it doesn't hurt!! There is no trauma, screaming, crying, writhing, nothing.  It takes just a few seconds, and I can use the adhesive remover without any complaints because it is not on his face.

When I first saw Maddox in the recovery room, I kept thinking "What have we done?!?!", and I wondered that throughout the stay at the hospital.  Now that we are home, I feel much better about it and realize this was the best decision for him.

Right now all of Maddox's formula is given to him through his small intestine (jejunem to be exact), in a couple weeks we should be able to start giving him formula through his stomach.  One nice thing about having the 2 different accesses, is we can let air and content out of his stomach if he is feeling ill or bloated much easier than we could with the n-g tube.  And we can feed him through the jejunem so he does not feel nauseated, but still gets all his nutrition.

I am praying things continue to go as well as they are. Part of me is afraid to relax too much, but things are going pretty smoothly at the moment.  He has gained 1 pound in 2 days and he isn't even up to his required caloric intake.

This is long winded I know. I want to record everything though before I forget.  Oh, a prayer request; Tomorrow morning I need to bring Mason to a class by 9:00am. Please pray we can get out the door, that Maddox isn't too fearful of sitting in his carseat and that we don't have any complications with the button or tubes. That is usually when we have troubles. Right as we are leaving.

Thank you for your prayers.  They mean the world to us!

We are going home today (gulp)

Hi Mason, here are pictures of Maddox with his button. Right now he is hooked up to tubes because he is getting his formula. When he isn't getting any food, he will not have the tubes hooked up. We miss you Mason and can't wait to see you today.






He is feeling much better now. He even ate a little bit of Graham cracker this morning.





We are coming home today. We can't wait to see you Mason!!!

Maddox didn't say a word until late this afternoon. I have never seen him so quiet for so long.he is starting to perk up a little tonight though. He is getting the mischievous gleam back in his eyes.

He had some nausea earlier in the day but he's been good since 4:00, even drinking water. Last night I ended up in a chair again with my head between my legs sipping on apple juice. sigh. I really need to get over this. He had woken up in pain though, so I think that's why.

We took him for a wagon ride around the floor this evening. He was not thrilled to get out of bed. At. All. But he did great. We saw some other children with I.v. poles and tubes, so I think that helped him to see other children walking around with their tubing.

My sister came over today with loads of chocolate, wine, and puzzles and glitter glue. It was so nice to have her here.unfortunately Maddox was struggling with the nausea when she came and he ended up taking a nap while she was here. But I am set for the night now! Thank you JUNAL!!! (my iPad always puts her name in caps..it must know how awesome she is)

Making a Christmas tree:



Nap time:


Back from the wagon ride:



The first smile we've seen since the procedure. He finished one of the puzzles JUNAL.

My Other Superhero....Mason!

Mason is my other superhero. He has been amazing through all of Maddox's appointments and the phone calls I have to make and take. His patience has been incredible. When we have had to be out of town (like now) he has gone with the flow. I love this boy Mason more than anything, and I am so incredibly glad I get to be his Mom. He is my superhero because he has had patience and understanding and compassion and empathy beyond his years.


Look at that handsome boy!


Our sad face because we miss Mason:


Our happy face because we love Mason:


Right now Maddox's sad and happy faces are hard to tell apart.

Pictures

He gets to bring the mask home with him and I get to bring the scrubs home.






Maddox tried to take a picture of us:


He LOVED my Aunt Marcia and Uncle John:


He slept in the bed with us with all these toys, at my Aunt and Uncle's home.


This is how we spent 6 hours waiting. Playing with waiting room toys:


Coloring:


They let him use a personal DVD player to watch movies in the waiting room.


Not too happy about getting ready for everything, but he was able to watch a movie and be in control of the remote:

Maddox in our room


The view from our room


We finally made it to our room. What a day. Feels like we've been here several days already. Right now Maddox is resting comfortably in his bed watching TV. He isn't moving and barely talking and is very sleepy. I can't wait to see him back to his energetic self.

I helped move Maddox to his bed from the recovery bed and he cried out in pain that his tummy hurt. I felt just awful. He isn't in any pain now, so that's good.

So now, we recover, get good sleep (hopefully) and come home Sunday (I hope). I hope he can drink water tomorrow. He is so thirsty and all he can get is a swab dipped in water.

We're here!

We arrived at 7:15 (per orders) and Maddox went in for his procedure at 1:30. We sat around the waiting room for 4 hours and then waited in the pre-op room for 2 hours.

As frustrating as that was, everyone here has been very helpful, understanding and kind. They helped keep Maddox entertained and he did phenomenally well.

I was able to go with him while he went under and when they heard how nervous he was about the mask, he was able to play with his and rub lip smacker lip gloss in it, and then use it when he went under. I was able to carry him down to the OR. It went as best as it could go. He is my superhero.


Here we are goofing around before heading down. They had me put the gear on early so he was used to me in the clothing.

Right now we are still waiting to hear from the doctors.

Maddox will be getting a "button" (Mickey button) which is low profile and doesn't have any tubes coming out of it. It dies require stitches and he does get another incision in his belly button (ouch), but overall, this will be better. And it's hidden under his shirt, so he won't be hearing "looks like someone fell and bonked his nose pretty good!". I'll update more later.

Friday the 9th

In 2 days, Maddox will have his g-tube, called the PEG.  He be getting a g-j tube which is a tube that branches off, one part into the stomach, the other part into the small intestine.  That way we can choose to feed him through the stomach or the small intestine, but there will only be one opening in his stomach, not two like I thought earlier.

I am getting nervous about it. Just the whole surgery part and recovery part. I am mainly nervous about the recovery part. he'll need an I.V. for 24 hours, and he hates I.V.s.  Hates them. 

We are going to see an urologist tomorrow down in the Cities so he can fix the little problem Maddox has while he is under for the feeding tube.  The Dr. can't go off of the report from the urologist we already saw, he needs to see Maddox himself.  Which is frustrating. We saw an urologist from the other Children's Hospital in the Cities, but he doesn't have privileges at the University Children's. 

We saw an Endocronologist Monday and he feels Maddox's growth issues are most likely related to nutrition.  Maddox will have blood drawn when he is out for the PEG.  He will also have blood drawn for his allergies while he's out.

We have had much better days since Maddox has been getting nutrition. He did throw up on Sunday (his birthday) but he has gained back the pound he lost plus 2 ounces, which is very encouraging. He is back on continuous feedings 11 hours at night and 4 hours during the day.  He's dealing with it pretty well, but I know he is frustrated. 

His meltdowns have decreased to 1-2 day from about 7 a day, so that is also encouraging.  We've been having fun decorating for Christmas, making ornaments and Christmas crafts.  He had his birthday on Sunday and he enjoyed his day.  He is such an excitable little guy.  I can't believe he is 4!!! We had to get him a bigger car seat because he finally outgrew his other one.  He is pretty pumped about that too.

So, things are much calmer here for the most part. I am freaking out a bit, but once this is over, things should get a lot easier and we can work on getting him to eat more orally and eventually get rid of the tube once and for all.  I can't wait until all of this is just part of our past.

Next time I post, it should be while we are at the hospital. I think we will be there for 3 overnights.  Mason may be staying with my parents here in town.  I'm thinking that will be easier for him.

Expolsive

There's a whole lot of explosive things going on around here.

Maddox is having explosive diarrhea 2-3 times a day.
He is also projectile vomiting at least once a day.
His temper has become extremely explosive (which I can't blame him because of previous 2 items listed)

sigh

I am definitely not parenting, I am just reacting and feel like I could explode at any minute.

Maddox is not tolerating the feedings right now, and no one knows why, because he isn't consistent (typical for Maddox).  We have been adjusting things and it's just not working well.  1-2 times a day Maddox will throw up after a feeding, but there is no rhyme or reason to it, and he is getting far less at at feeding than he was in late October (he didn't throw up then).  We do have a system now, for when he feels like he is going to throw up. We put him on the toilet and then I pull some of the formula out of his stomach, a little at a time, until the nausea goes away.  It's better than him throwing up the entire feeding.  We need to sit with him through the entire feeding, because sometimes he will start feeling nauseous halfway through the feeding, and when he is going to blow, it's quick. There's a lot of anxiety involved with his feedings. He is getting anxious because he has realized the nausea is related to the feedings. 

I am hoping this is from the ng tube being in for so long. Maybe it's just irritating his tummy and once the g-tube is in, he'll get back on track quickly.  I am tempted to put him on the overnight feedings again, even though no one will be getting any sleep.

Last night we tried to put him on a slow feeding over night, but he was thrashing and talking about throwing up in his sleep, so we shut it off.  Typically he gets a 6 hour feed starting at 9:30pm and I get up at 3:30 to unhook him and shut the pump off. (which is exhausting, then he crawls in bed with us around 5:00am and I am too tired to put him back in bed)

He is also having diarrhea a couple times a day.  It is beginning to look like this happens shortly after a feeding, so I think it has something to do with the nausea, but again, they don't always coincide with each other.  I am documenting everything right now to see if there is some type of pattern I can tell the doctors about.

He is extremely irritable. Screaming and crying about anything and everything. It is exhausting. He is hitting and kicking and throwing items, having all out fits and meltdowns. I feel like all I am doing is putting out fires between him and Mason and disciplining them both all day.  And my parenting sucks right now. 

He is a sweetie though and gives the best hugs and loves. He is so excited by little things and is too darn cute for his own good.  He just does everything LARGE. Everything.  And he is nonstop. Non-stop motion and talking and noise.  And nonstop cuteness and love.

So, another whine fest post. Sorry my readers of few.  It feels good to get it out and helps me get some perspective once I do get it out. It isn't complete mayhem over here (at least not every day :) ) and I love these two boys more than life.  I am just tired and getting anxious about the g-tube as we approach the date for that.  I'm most afraid of recovery for Maddox. I don't want him to be in any pain.

A Beautiful Sight

At lunch today, Maddox was lying on his stomach with a plate of food, just munching away while watching Sesame Street. It looked so normal. I almost forgot that he has such a hard time eating.  I haven't seen him so comfortable and relaxed with a plate of food in a very, very long time.  He has been doing much better since he threw up last week.  He is much more adventurous with food and is actually asking for something to eat, however he rarely eats much.

Maddox is almost up to the amount of formula he was getting since before he was throwing up.  I'm too afraid to bump him up too quickly, but we are almost there. When I was gone for the weekend, Craig was able to bump him up pretty quickly.  It's a good thing I did go out of town, because I wouldn't have tried to change the feedings that quickly.

The women's weekend was fun. I only wish I had felt better, but is was nice to be able to sleep and just take care of myself.  And of course the company of women I was in was incredible.

I am getting nervous about the gtube. Just another thing to adjust to. My biggest fear is the amount of pain Maddox will be in after the procedure. And if he will be freaked out by having a tube coming out of his stomach.  I also fear that it won't make a difference in the amount of food he eats and that he will need it for years. I am pretty sure that he will eat much better though, but these are the fears.

Then there is also the feeling of failure.  It comes and goes. I often wonder if I've tried hard enough, or if I've missed something or if this all my fault somehow. I know that it isn't, but the whispers of those thoughts come around at times.  Sometimes the well intentioned words of others add to those thoughts. And I know no one is blaming me for any of this, but it's hard not to hear it in what others' say sometimes.

Overall, I am doing well and pretty peaceful, just moments of the other stuff, but thankfully they are fleeting.  Maddox is doing exceptionally well. Even our physician is impressed with how well Maddox has adjusted to all of this and with how well he is coping.

Mason is doing incredibly well too.  He had his physical today (Maddox was thrilled the appt was not for him).  Not much to report on Mason.  Everything looks good, he's growing well (50th weight, 75th height) and no concerns. In a few weeks he'll go back to ENT for follow up of hearing and patch of his eardrum.  I feel bad because I rarely mention Mason anymore in my posts. He is still the sweethart of a little boy, although he isn't so little anymore. 9 years old. Where did the time go? 

He did get his flu shot today. He did the best he has ever done with it and Maddox even offered up his blankie for Mason to smell. (Maddox loves to smell his blankie for comfort) When Mason declined smelling the blankie, Maddox insisted he could hug it or hold onto his chippie (stuffed chipmunk).

Well, that's about it here. Just hanging out, enjoying the snow and now our working fireplace (mmmm, I did miss the fireplace). I hope all you readers of 5 have an incredile Thanksgiving!!!

Little Man

Today Maddox ate 1.5 apple slices, soy cheese, graham cookies and sun butter and smarties candies and his vitamins. He requested all of these foods on his own. The apple slices are especially exciting. He hasn't eaten any fresh fruit in at least 2 months. I can't believe he actually requested these foods. Yesterday he also asked for some food and ate tortilla chips and a fruit snack.

However, he is throwing up today. I don't know if it is from his formula or if he has a bug. This morning just when we were putting our shoes on to go to his therapy he threw up, and he was getting his feeding. His energy is fine, no fever. Later he threw up 30 minutes after a small feeding. I don't know. I had the home care nurse check him out and he appeared healthy to her. She said children sometimes confuse queasiness with hunger, so that may be why he requested food and actually ate something. Figures. We are working so hard for him to figure out what hunger is and respond to it, and he eats on a day he's throwing up. The nurse also thinks he may be getting a flu, and the big feeds with the feeding tube are too much for his tummy now. We aren't going to give him any more today.
I am afraid he will throw up the tube.

The good thing is that he has some extra weight on him, sonic he doesn't eat well for a day or two, he'll be ok. The other good thing is that I can give him pedialyte through his tube, because he will not drink that stuff.

We may have a motility study done, to see if food moves through his system too slowly. That could explain a lot. He is also having some troubles in the pooping department. It's a simple test, just long. And again, having the tube is good for this. He can get all the barium stuff to be x-rayed through the tube instead of drinking it.

My heart just breaks for him. And I am getting more afraid of the g tube. Its definitely something I do not want to do. It's hard not feel like a failure sometimes. I know this isn't my fault, but the thought enters my mind often.

Things really are going well though. He has gained a little more and is getting taller. He has energy and stamina and is a lot stronger and can attend to tasks much better. He is definitely a pre-schooler.

Mason had his party on Sunday at the bowling alley. He had a lot of fun, and I have to say, having a party outside of the house was nice. And I forgot how much fun bowling is. We are going to have to make bowling a regular occurrence.

Maddox will be getting the g tube Dec 8 or Dec 9. We will pull the ng tube Dec 3 rd so he can be tube free for his birthday. I can't wait to see his sweet little face without any tape on it.

Snow is falling at the moment. I'm not sure I'm ready for it, but the boys are excited.

Feeding Tube Decision

Well, we have come to the decision that Maddox needs the g-tube (feeding tube that comes out of his stomach). 2 weeks ago he had his follow up appt and the GI dr. wanted Maddox to keep the n-g tube for another 2-3 months. At first I was ecstatic. But then his face started breaking out from the tape. He has been bleeding under the tape and scratching until he bleeds. He has decreased the amount of food he will eat significantly. (although today he ate a lot for him). Craig and I came to the conclusion that Maddox is not going to eat enough with the n-g tube. His nose, throat, and face are too irritated. We also talked with his fabulous speech therapist, nutritionist, GI dr nurse and everyone is in agreement. The therapist in me says this is what needs to be done, however the mom in me desperately wants to find another way. It's so hard.

2weeks ago we also switched up his feeding schedule. We are done with the nighttime feed!! We are all in our own beds and sleeping through the night. Glory day! What a difference a good nights sleep makes. (although he sneaks in bed with us early in the morning...I don't have the heart to send him back to his bed because it's one of the few times I can snuggle with him and he is still and quiet). He gets a short feeding of 10 ounces 4 times a day, and we need to be pretty careful on the times he gets the food, because if they are too close together he throws up. We also added a 40 minute night feed before we go to bed because he isn't eating enough and was getting tired and irritable again.

We are going to take out the n-g tube the last week of this month and see how he eats for a week or two. If he does well we'll hold off on the g-tube (which would be wonderful). This way he will at least be tube free on his golden birthday and hopefully the excitement of Christmas will help with the adjustment. We will have to go back to night feeds for a couple weeks, so that will stink, but a's long as I know it's temporary, I can live with that.

Well be spending at least two nights at the hospital in the cities.

Mason turned 9 on Saturday. I can't believe he is 9! Next year he will be in the double digits. Crazy how fast time flies. We had a family party and the friend party is this Sun at the bowling alley. This is the first party he hasn't had at home. He's growing up ;). I just love that boy and cant imagine my life without him in it. I was going to try and write something profound here, but my brain is not cooperating. He really is a great big brother. Today at Cub he was teaching Maddox how to bag groceries and he was so patient. Maddox adores him. He just sobs when Mason goes somewhere without him. (that's not to say they don't have their moments. At Walgreens today they tipped a cart over because they were arguing about who was going to stand where)
Homeschooling continues to go well. We both enjoy the new curriculum and he really likes the challenge. He also started attending a Spanish class once a week and loves that. Maddox is even picking up some words and is beginning to count in Spanish and name colors.

We have been loving this weather and even made it to the beach twice in the last 5 days. That great big lake is magical. I always leave feeling rejuvenated and refreshed. What a gift.

Ok enough talk. I'll leave you with some pictures of then last couple weeks.
























The boy should weigh 80 pounds with all this junk food. But he still won't eat it.


So, Maddox had a Captain America costume, but refused to wear it Halloween. He didn't even wear the helmet trick or treating. Mason threw that costume together the day of Halloween.





Our Ninja. An old costume (actually I purchased this costume just for the baclava for that eagle costume I made two years ago, you know, the one I traumatized Mason with)








Attempts at Christmas picture.








So Maddox will only wear tshirts that have super heroes on them. Thankfully Target was clearancing out their super hero tshirts.





It will be nice to see him without all this tape on his face. But he is still awfully cute.





You can see how he is beefing out here. Look at those shoulders! And those are...wait for it....4T pajamas!!!





These are from today. It was a little chilly, but still heavenly. Can't believe we were at the beach in November.











I will miss the lake this winter.





These two are the best!