Defined

I had a cr@ppy experience today in the Home Depot parking lot. I had parked the van and was taking Maddox out when this older man (maybe 60- 70ish) starts saying stuff ( I thought he was talking to himself at first). This is how it went down:

Man: You had to park here?!
Me: Silent and confused.
Man: Out of the entire parking lot you HAD to park behind my vehicle?! Really. How am I supposed to open my back door to put my stuff in?! You just had to park here?! You have the whole empty lot to choose from!
Me: (still confused) Well, it's a good parking spot.
Man: How am I supposed to open my door?! People! You just don't think about anything! WHY would you park here?!

He then preceded to open his door HARD and it hit the grill of our van. I heard a crunch and got right in there to see if there was any damage. (there wasn't. it was just the ice from his door) and he was able to put his stuff in his vehicle. A person could actually walk between our vehicles, so it's not like I was touching his bumper.

He continued on about me "just not thinking", etc.. I just stood there to make sure he didn't do anything to the van and as he got into his vehicle I said "Good day to you sir."---which probably wasn't helpful.

I felt fine during the incident, because I knew he was being ridiculous and I was willing to back the van up for him if he needed me to. But as I walked into Home Depot I started to feel terrible. As I drove home I started to cry and started thinking all these dumb thoughts "Maybe I don't pay enough attention to how close I park to other's cars" "Maybe I have caused problems for other people" "I am stupid" and on and on. I called Craig and just bawled. It was awful.

I really had to give it to God and remember who He says I am and not let this jerk define me. Which I was doing. How crazy is that?! I let some strange jerk start to define who I thought I was and what I believed about myself. Why would I let that happen? Thankfully I do know what God says about me and I can rest in that.

As the day went on I realized that none of this was my fault. If I know I am going to need to get into the back of my van, I make sure the backend is facing the driving aisle. As most people do.

And I realize that this man has some issues and some hurts, etc... And I should probably pray for him. But to be completely honest, as I drove home, I prayed that his day would be ruined. Then I got to thinking, if he treats a stranger like this, how does he treat family members? I should be praying for his wife (if he has one) and children (if he has any).

I was proud of myself though, because I didn't get angry during all of this. I was very peaceful. I did get a little anxious when he hit our grill with his door though.. I thought I was going to have to write his license plate down. But I didn't react with anger or sarcastic comments. Yay for me! God has made changes in me. And this incident has helped me see how easily I can let others define how I see myself. I thought I was getting better at that.

But the other thing is, he was just plain mean. And having someone be mean to me just plain hurts. No matter who they are. And that's OK that I feel that way. Nobody wants to be treated like dirt. I am grateful that Mason was not with, he would have been very confused and concerned about all that. Maddox was just looking at the snow.

and after all that, Home Depot didn't even have what I was looking for. :) I'll try Menards tomorrow. Hopefully that will be a more pleasant experience.