Reality

All right. I am getting real here. Being a stay at home mom who home schools can be incredibly draining and exhausting. I wouldn't change it and I don't regret it, but it is hard. ( some days more than others). As I read my favorite home school blogs, I haven't read anything describing how hard it can be. The blogs are full of love, peace, and incredible lesson plans and field trips and activities.

We have that at our home too, but there are days where we don't. Mornings I wake up and don't want to hear anyone's voice, I don't want anyone to need anything from me. I just want to do what I want to do. Exercise and scrapbook and eats foods loaded with dairy without having to worry.

Now I LOVE what I do, and I don't feel burnt out. But being with my children so much and being responsible for their education has it's challenges and pressures. Have I had days where I thought about putting them in public school...yes. In fact there are days I wished there was a boarding school for our 3 year old. But this is the right thing for us to do as a family, and with the hole in Mason's eardrum, he would have needed a hearing aid in school and would have missed out on a lot. His audiologist and ENT affirmed that again two weeks ago.

I worry too. Are their social skills ok? I often dread telling someone we homeschool because I feel they look at my children differently. I feel they are looking for something wrong with them, something that I missed. I know they are doing well, and socially they are fine. It isn't like Mason isn't exposed to groups of children or his peers, and Maddox, well, he would be social if he grew up in a cave. I have so many resources to look through to make sure I am not missing anything in their education. And that can be overwhelming.

There are days I yell too much. I am a yeller. I have gotten much better, but I still struggle with it. Some days more than others.

My houses a disaster with all our supplies and different activities.

And yet, I wouldn't trade this life for anything. The bad days come and go, and I know there is always a tomorrow. I love being able to be with Mason as he learns a new skill, as he learns how to work through challenges and I love to see how he and Maddox can play together so well. (that is not to say they don't fight. They. Do.)

And those crafts i post on here? Well there are days everyone is complaining about them the whole time.

I am also not anti-public school or anti-teacher. At. All. there will probably be a time when our children will attend public school. I don't know when that will be. We haven't locked ourselves into anything. But for now, this works for our family. Yes we have our "hard moments", but who doesn't?
So, this is the "other side" of our homeschooling adventures. I assume every homeschooling family has another side that isn't blogged about. Maybe they assume that other homeschooling families understand there are hard days.

So, there you have it. But now I feel like deleting this whole post because in worry you will think I hate doing this and that I regret it and that my children are not learning anything. Because you can't hear the tone of my voice, or see my facial expressions. Maybe that is why people mainly blog shiny, happy things.